I was having a great conversation last night. A fellow church and classmate and I were discussing the seasons of life and ministry we were each going through. In some ways, our journeys have been the same. Sure,… the details have been different. Location, calling, gifting, dreams, desires… all unique. But in the end, we’re both in the same place… wishing to have more control over the courses our lives are headed.
He’s been having some great solo time with God and we were discussing some of what him and I have been wrestling with. The topic/thought came up of being “ready” to move on to the next step.
Many times, when we’re in the midst of a rough season in life, it’s easy for us to “land” at the place where we say, “God has this in control.” Let’s face it… for those of us who’ve grown up hearing of God, or have grown up with faith in Christ, or have gone to Christian Colleges and/or Seminaries… these are truths that we know theologically… and arriving at that truth in the midst of the hurt and the pain leads us to believe that we’re ready.
It’s what I myself had thought… and as we dialogued, I began to realize there was something missing. I don’t know for sure what it is yet.. but maybe,… just maybe,…. it’s not about knowing the truth of who God is in my mind… it’s about what I do as I wait for that truth to come into fruition.
Wow God… is this what you’re trying to teach me right now? I’m really good as quoting what God has already done in my life so that I (perhaps after much reminder) become more willing to enter into the progress and leave the stagnant area of moping and depression.
But maybe it has little to do with what God will do. I don’t want to sound sacrilegious… but here’s what I’m saying… God is God… He gives good gifts. It is against His very character to NOT care for His children… so, He will take care of us… whether in a day, or a week… that thing we’re so worried about… it’s already been taken care of.
But what are we doing as we wait for that to happen? Are we digging into despair? Are we cursing God for what’s not happening? Are we missing out on opportunities that are available to us because we’re too occupied in pseudo self-loathing?
Man… maybe I’m not as ready as I thought I was…
It’s not all about where you’re going. That’s just part of it. It’s also about the journey and the wait. Man… I hate when this stuff hits me…