It has been nearly a week since the dreadful (not that dreadful) call that I received this Monday. I was not the Deacons’ choice for the ministry position at the church. On Monday, it was perhaps the worst news I could have received. The prospect of being in a ministry role and the realistic flexibilities it afforded us as a family, both from a ministry standpoint as well as a financial standpoint… well, they were pretty much shattered when I got the news… or were they?
I had gotten myself so enthralled by this prospect. Until today, I don’t believe I ever heard God tell us “no, this is not the place.” We felt a peace that if it worked out, it’d be great. I think I got so wrapped up in it “working out” that when I found out it wasn’t working out, it entirely sideswiped me. I had made plans based on something that had not come to pass yet.
I’m a strategic person. I plan. I organize. That’s what I do (well, one of the things I do). I wanted to be prepared for “when” we had to move to the new location in Jersey, that I failed to plan for the possibility that we “didn’t” move to Jersey. I really wanted it to work out. I’m not going to lie. But it didn’t.
It’s amazing what a few days will do to you. You initially get frustrated at the reality that it doesn’t work out. Then you move to trying to be open again to the fact that God ‘might’ just have something better. (HeLLLOOO???)… but inevitably, you find yourself past the circumstance or situation to accept, and eventually/hopefully enjoy that it did not work out.
So yeah… things will be “tight” for us for a little bit longer. God will have to continue wowing us in his provision. But for some reason, I’m ok with it.
Maybe it’s the last three-month journey that I’ve been on (well, now almost four months). On my birthday (April 28), I will be unemployed for 4 months. Our bills are paid (some have been paid late, but still paid). There is food in the fridge. We have a place to live. God is still in the business of doing miracles, no matter how big or small they are.
So even if things haven’t gone “Your Way”… relax… take a breathe or two… give it a few days… eventually, you’ll realize it’s probably better that it didn’t work out. You might not understand WHY it didn’t work out, but at least you’ll begin to relinquish control and trust that God has everything figured out already.