Over the last few weeks, I have been pondering the whole topic of winning. In life, it seems that we are surrounded by some sort of competition from an early age. Whether it’s the subliminal teachings that we give children when saying “my child is the cutest child up there,” the sometimes-irate parents who yell at their 5-year-olds to running faster after hitting the T-ball, or the thriving accomplishment one feels when on a sports team that has a remarkable feat. All of us… as some point or another want 1 thing… “TO WIN!!!”
Is it a bad thing, though? I’m not here to argue either way… I simply want to share some personal struggles/thoughts of recent that I have had with the whole thing.
I recently entered a singing competition to “Sing with the Brooklyn Tabernacle Choir.” I had to submit a video online singing one of the songs from their latest album. I consider myself (especially in regards to singing, worship leading, and music) to be very confident in who God crafted me to be. I have been leading worship for years, so I know it’s part of my “thing” in life. Yet, in a few moments, I went as much as feeling like I was not “good enough.”
I went online to see the first person that rated my video gave me a “1 out of 5” stars. I was mad. I wasn’t “aaannggggrrrryyyyyyy” (insert Shrek voice THERE…)… but I was annoyed. “How DARE someone rate me a 1-star. Do they KKKNNNOOOOWWW who I am???”
Now… I’m no David Phelps… but COME ON… to give me a 1-Star… that felt like a low-blow. I soon began thinking, “Oh my… what if I’m the only one that thinks I can sing good? What if…???”
After much introspection, I can admit that some of those thoughts were out of a fear of losing. Why did I feel like I needed to “WIN” this?
Yesterday, I entered another “online competition.” The prize was an XBox 360 Elite with 250Hard Drive and 2 Wireless Controlers. It was commemorating the release of Modern Warfare 2’s new Stimulus Map Pack. The contest? Hand draw something based on the theme “Stimulus” or “Stimulation.” Now… I am a creative being, and a musician and artist… drawing is NOT my gift… however, I quickly got my pen out and drew a guy sitting in front of 4 XBox’s and 4 TV screens playing Modern Warefare 2. For not drawing, it was a decent depiction. Sadly, I somehow thought I could actually win this. I didn’t, which was of NO surprise to me. But again… (this time for a MUCH shorter time), I was sad I did not win. Again the thought… Why did I feel I needed to win this?
Many times we go through life not appreciating the things that we DO have and we seek the things we DON’T have. I’m not saying this is intentional. Sometimes we seek hard after things we think we need to make us feel better. At the end of the day… do we REALLY need it?
The bible tells us in 2 Peter 1:3 that “His divine power has given us everything we need for life and godliness through our knowledge of Him who called us by His own glory and goodness.”
The truth is we have everything that we need. And as we go through life, and HE is our source, then we don’t NEED to win. Anything we get is simply because He loves us. We don’t deserve anything we have. We have it because of Him.
I’m not sure what will happen with the singing competition. I think it would be a tremendous opportunity to sing with the choir (would have been even BETTER if it was my FAVORITE song, but this one is good too… lol). But guess what… if I am not chosen… that doesn’t change what God called me for and who He made me to be.
Do we NEED to win? Nah’… we already won when Jesus said, “It is finished.”